I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
