I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
