Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
