At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
