Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
