my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
