What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
