i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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