Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No subtext here. People are naked.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
