ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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