Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
