You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
