i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it's like iHOP with fire
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
