she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
