White coat. Heels.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
