dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
