Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
