Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
