you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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