The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
