You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
