I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
