Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
