You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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