I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
