He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize