i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize