The maid of honor just puked.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
