D3 body, D1 cock
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
