I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
