Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
