WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
