Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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