im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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