Heybabeimwearingurpanties
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
