maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
