beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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