Small penises have feelings too.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you would pick up someone in the library
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
