Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is wine microwaveable?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize