im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My balls are so social today.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
