Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize