is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
