You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
