I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize