you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
