I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
