His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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