From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
