You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
