One girl and one boy is just not enough.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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