is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
