i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
