it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize