dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
