I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
