She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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