ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
