he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
