peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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