I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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